*My Story*
When I first began suffering the many and varied symptoms of ME/CFS I thought I was losing my mind (secretly I think my doctor did too), but he was thorough and I had innumerable blood tests (negative results), ECG's Heart scans, chest x-rays etc. All results seemed to indicate that there was in fact nothing wrong with me with the exception of elevated cell count that showed an underlying viral infection of some indiscriminate nature. I eventually became so ill that I was sacked from my job (social services no less - they really know how to be the 'caring' department. This of course threw me into financial free fall (and still falling). I have seen the shrinks, the neurologists, the pathologists and lots of ists, all have decided I have ME! Wow a title for all of these symptoms!
I have given up trying to explain to people how I feel (for the most part those who care already know and those who don't know, neither care nor really want to know). I have lost many people from my life - which I have decided where not important enough to remain in it anyway. I have found that those who remained by my side throughout this time are the most precious stars in my galaxy, one in particular who I would never even have known if it weren't for Foggy Friends is the brightest star and that is my partner Craig. He has ME too and we have each other to share this with, he understands when I am tired, when I cannot go another step - he is always by my side either physically when possible or in thought. Going shopping for us is hysterical, he is, for the most part, in a wheelchair and I push him (it helps me to walk further, I use his chair like a giant zimmer; but then when I get tired we swap for a bit - it's funny to see people's faces when we are swapping over!
I am lucky in so many ways, fortunately I have always had a very positive nature - a case of having to as I have had much more than my fair share of bad luck in my life. I have come through the stage of raging anger against the illness (this does sometimes rear its ugly head through frustration), I have come through the depression (again sometimes it can creep back), I have tried seriously not to fall into the 'why me' frame of mind as that is not helpful to man/woman or beast. I have learned to count my blessings such as they are - my three sons (who drive me bonkers) but I love them with a passion; waking up each day (for no matter how short a time); having the time to write my poetry; appreciate the weather (even if its mostly through the windows); love my family, friends and particularly Craig and so many other things I do not wish to bore the reader with.
I do not know how long I will have this illness, Craig had been ill with it for 15 years now and it has stolen so much from him it is criminal - but he is still a very happy and loving person despite it all; what I do know is that however long it is with me, whatever it does to me - I will deal with it and stay positive because if I start beating myself up as well the disease, it's won and goodness knows I won't let that happen.
So to all my fellow sufferers out there I say stay positive it will help you through the worst of times and cheer you through the best of times - there will be plenty of both along the way.
Take care and keep as well as you can.
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